The Quitters Curse

The hardest undertaking in my art career so far and it isn't even artistic.

Quitting smoking is hard, now don't let me underplay it, it is incredibly damned hard. Even now as I sit here 2 months after quitting, I pause now and then as if to stop and reach for my cigarettes. I don't have any, and There is nothing to reach for, but the act of sitting here at my computer, is setting off triggers to old and terrible habits.

I realize this even more when I sit down at the easel. Every little pre-work action (which previously had been done while smoking) is another trigger trying to pull you back in. As soon as I enter my studio I am immediately hit with that feeling, which obviously means I need to back off. I am getting better and I have implemented a set of steps to conquer in order to get back to it, but that is taking just as long as quitting is.

Last week I went into the studio and just sat there for an hour. I didn't do anything. I didn't think about painting, I didn't think about setting anything up to record... I just sat there, and even that was difficult.

This week I am going through the motions of setting things up and then just taking it all back down. Just trying to make these things as second nature as the reaching for a smoke was. These are the steps I am having to take if I want to continue making art and doing a decent job at doing it.

What once was normal is now equivalent to discomfort and anxiety. (I just did the pause and reach thing again... see what I mean.)

I am hoping that sometime this week or next week I will be able to actually attempt to put something on canvas or paper, but I also think it still might be to soon. It is very frustrating and I hope that with time, I can learn to art again without these impulses.

So I would like to put it out there to you guys... Have any of you quit something you did while doing something else that has negatively impacted the something else? Would love to know if I am alone in this or not. (I know I'm not, but confirmation is pleasing... lol)

AntiSocial Media

Is social media  becoming antisocial?

More and more it is becoming apparent that social media platforms are trying to think for us. They are constantly updating algorithms that take your interests away from you. You can see it happening all over the place, on many different platforms and if you ask me it is beginning to get out of control.

The first time I had realized this was on Facebook. When you have a page (not just a profile) on Facebook, it is your job to promote that page as best you can, but do you have the power to even do that anymore? The answer is no. Facebook has taken your power away from you and more and more they continue to make your page less visible to the people that like your page because they want to see your stuff. They limit who sees your work and only let it out to a choice few of your followers. If they randomly pick the few followers that are only lookyloo’s who do not like or comment, than your post is stuck in limbo waiting for another random follower to either come to your page and look for themselves, or maybe it gets dropped into their timeline at a later date… but the chances of that are slim.

Then Instagram started to do the same and people eventually started to notice they were not seeing everything, but only what Instagram wanted you to see. They followed the same example as Facebook, but without the monetary incentive Facebook uses to try and make you purchase views.

Well, now YouTube appears to be jumping on this bandwagon and is now slowly starting to limit views. I have started noticing that channels I follow are not getting put into my “subscription” feed. So I started checking around with other people I know and asked them if they were seeing this as well… and lo and behold, they are. How far will YouTube take it? Are they just limiting views or are they going to take it to the Facebook level?

One of the main reasons people use YouTube is the possibility that you can make some money down the road, (don’t even get me started on the 10,000 view thing) but what happens if YouTube eventually decides that it is you that should be paying them to let people that have subscribed to your channel get notifications from your channel?

Am I being an alarmist here? Maybe I am, but with the increasing amount of sites that are getting into the limiting business, shouldn’t I be worried about it? Are you?

Would love to hear your opinions on this, if you have something to say, feel free to leave a comment below.

For the record: YouTube actually started to do this back in 2012, but has recently made some changes that is making it far more active in its subscription hiding.

"LOST in Transition"

18" x 24" Acrylic on Canvas
Available for purchase
$350.00

 
This painting was a challenge indeed. Not just because it is not the painting I started out making, but because I was trying to film it and kept having tech problems as well.

All was going pretty well until the first glitch hit and my phone stopped recording. I lost a lot of the sky work to the gremlins and came back to it with this idea that I was done with the sky when I wasn't.

I then drew on my tree and afterwards realized I hadn't finished my sky to a low enough point. Originally It was just going to be a big green tree against a blue sky, but I had a horizon line to fill in and need the midground trees and bushes to fill that space. Having done that, I couldn't just drop a big green tree in front of them, even if it was good, it would be lost from a distance and we can't have that now, can we?

So this is where I decided to do the color shifting tree and abandon the idea of the summer green tree. Now I know that a tree with this much shift is near impossible, but I think that is what makes it striking. You might see greens and yellows or yellows and red / oranges, but you wouldn't often see all of them together and this is what I wanted to create.

All in all it is what it is and I had a blast doing it. I think it came out great and I hope to be making something new as soon as possible.

There is also a video on YouTube.